Reflections

As i sit here living in my current station
My thoughts pace from past to future situations
I debate if the choices I’ve made in this life have tainted the right way i should live
I swallow sacrificial pills jus to self-heal,
I aim to have my hand setup b4 the cards even deal,
I have a wall that my emotions constantly build
So I live only for the thrills and constant laughter,
I hate screaming,
Arguing makes me sick to the tummy,
I vomit truth constantly,
And the people around me,
Seem to drop out my life
Just because i refuse to live n there lie
Or the over embellished image that they've created b4 getn to know my truth
I speak a billion and 1 oop's
And chose not to take them back
Only apologize for making u feel my max
Because i do understand my abrupt honesty can throw u off track
But holding in the facts
Can get a little heavy at times
So i know most would rather live in a lie
But i still will never neglect to tell u what’s on my mind
And if u and truth cant be in the same place at the same time
It would probably be best for you to not read between these lines.

The Race

....... It's funny how were all RACING to an identical destination, maybe that's the explanation for the REASON, SEASON, or LIFETIME equation? some start out at the same place but might STRAY, and others u meet along the way. So life can go on without u missing a beat and ur legs still can stand STRONG even when u feel you've lost ur feet and the only person u feel would never deceive DOES..! But without self LOVE, u can get lost in ur current situation and become complacent... waiting on another's APPROVAL when its only U that controls ur future...U who determines whether its a win or a lose... so i chose to play what the cards deal and just LIVE being the me that my past created and TRULY thanking everyone that i meet while I'm racing.

Granted Facts & Unknown Thought Clift Hangers

Lord, my thoughts are TAINTED

And I’m drained when ii try to restrain them

It's exhausting FIGHTING my wants and pointless because they're so BLUNT

I try to succumb but its no use my EMOTIONS always shine thru

Blinding the right way I should GO and ii know the EXACT road ii should travel

But willingly unraveled my plans

Therefore, ii will not pretend I don’t understand the END

I know I'm holding LIFE and DEATH in my own 2 hands

But when my wants DEMAND I can’t help but sink in this MEANTIME quick sand

I'm full of SIN and trying 2 win is more difficult then I thought

I never get a receipt for the temptation that is in my heart

Right back in the dark cuz ii cannot return these actions that I’ve bought

My head is cloudy with useless thoughts that will only birth

More trouble then its worth

So how can ii teach another what ii never seem 2 learn?!?

Advice burns as it rolls off the lips of someone who never listens to it

Now guilty judgments become my poison prescription trigger

So I avoid……